♥ Thursday, July 21, 2011

Until now he still the same~ he will just drink drink drink~ he never thought of coming to find me at all~ I nv had a bf before who dun care abt me and he is so selfish to only think of himself~ haix

Is this a hint from god telling me that I must really face the reality~ he is really not the one~

Arghh I really cannot believe it~ I must let go ~ kill the stupid mind and be back to myself~

He change his everything now~ I really can't believe that I had waste one year with a guy who just play my feeling~ WTF~

I really wake up le!!! He is really SUX~ he will get his retribution~ all his fake words~ I hate it~ he is just a liar~

I need to stop blogging le~ cos everything has ended~

I do not want to have anything to do with this fucker anymore!!!

I dun wish to be reminded of this RS anymore~

Goodbye blog~

I need to create a new one and start my new life~ cause it's the only way~

♥琳琳♥

3:41 PM

♥ Wednesday, July 20, 2011

This few days my mood swing like hell~ arghhh i really hate it~ last night~ out of control and cried again~ I keep telling myself to be mature la~ nv think that it will be so bad~ not the first time fall out of love what~everyday still need force myself to work work work so that can't think so much~ bloody hate after work~ mind too free zzz ~ will start again ~ but at least I bk to myself~ nv drink then sleep le~

I had to overcome this myself since I choose to end de~

I always thought that the person who choose to end will be easier to let go~ so now I got the taste of it~FML

I got to be strong~ since he can~ I also can~ give me just abit more time~ I will be numb soon~

I got the feeling~ it's fading le~ i won't care so much le~now is my mind killing me~ I let it died~ I kill my mind myself~

♥琳琳♥

11:25 AM

♥ Tuesday, July 19, 2011

past memories just flash upon my mind~ it's killing me~ can just go away~ is torturing me especially at wk when we both wk the same office last time~ I cannot walked ard le la~ I hate to think of things that upset me~ why now he can be so carefree and I can't~

I thought that we will be together forever~ all my wishful thinking~ how much more to suffer~ just come at one shot~
Arghhh...

♥琳琳♥

5:38 PM

♥ Sunday, July 17, 2011

sometimes u just no need to say ~ time will lead u to the real world~ this world is realistic and it would never change because of anyone~ it will just keep changing it's own~ the only way is to change urself to suit that world if not u will lose out~

There is lots of things that u couldn't give up and don't wish to lose in this world~ but sometimes due to situation~ you will have to let go In order to carry on~

As time passes~ I getting more and more clearer than I have to carry on my life ~ although I admit that I am so fickle minded~and I do not know what I want~ I can't force anyone to just wait for me there~ I believe I will find my way~

Now the only thing I can do for u is to stop my nonsense~ I won't disturb u le~

Last but not least~ I wish u all the best in ur everything and succeed whatever you wanted to~ Time is too precious to waste le~

Woman times is very precious~

♥琳琳♥

10:18 PM

♥ Saturday, July 16, 2011

Our RS ended on 12th July 2011~ although both of us tried to save it in our own ways~ it only worsen everything~ I guess if I can't trust him till now~ nothing will goes right~ He has proven to me that with or without me there is no different and he can say until so easily that if we can't be together~ he will delete my contact and won't pester me~ before anything could be done~ he already started to add new girls and should have chat le ba~

He say he need to go think and asked me go think also~ if wanted to be Tgt~ we will compromise if not he will delete my number~

♥琳琳♥

11:00 PM

♥ Sunday, July 10, 2011

Until today he still dun or should say lazy or refuse to understand me~ told him many times~ if he can't do it de things ~ dun tell me~ he still can repeat so many times~ example:" I played game till 10.30pm at the most cos tomorrow I work morning shift, I wanted to watch Monkey God show" till 11.40 pm plu still playing lor~ dun want acc me then just tell me~ dun need cheat my feeling de~ I drunk a bottle of Hoe Gaarden and I fall asleep~ I believe that time he is still playing his stupid game lor~

He should go married that game~ cause it won't complained and most of all can make him happy and he can fuck it too~ as he like to fuck pple inside~

We are starting to have distance in between us~ since he dun bother~ I also dun bother~ I will find my true love one day~ I wish I could be more realistic ~

He is too lazy to do anything for this RS~ I have see him through~ I have been observing so long~ yet no improvement and he got impatience all the time and anyhow show temper and say he sian~ I see him I more sian~ he think only he sian~ SUX

♥琳琳♥

2:11 PM

♥ Monday, July 4, 2011

3rd July 2011

I went to Sentosa Siloso Beach with Ying and her son~We had lots of fun~ playing with water~ hehe

So happy and feel so relax and happy ~

In the evening~ i suppose i will be meeting Dearie to watch Movie~ but he said until he was sooooo tired hor~so i decided not ba~ he said that if movie was too late de we shall just go for dinner~ his meeting point was at NEX~ so i decided just catch him up for dinner ba~ After dinner we went back home and he downloaded "My Bloody Valentine" while waiting for it to download~ he played his favourite game for 2 hours ba~ Zzz

Luckily i got you tube drama to accompany me~

♥琳琳♥

5:30 PM

♥ Friday, July 1, 2011

I need peace~ leave me alone~ I promise i'll be good~

没那麼简单就能找到聊得来的伴

尤其是在看过了那麼多的背叛

总是不安只好强悍

谁谋杀了我的浪漫

没那麼简单就能去爱别的全不看

变得实际也许好也许坏各一半

不爱孤单一久也习惯

不用担心谁也不用被谁管

感觉快乐就忙东忙西

感觉累了就放空自己

别人说的话随便听一听自己作决定

不想拥有太多情绪

一杯红酒配电影

在周末晚上关上了手机舒服窝在沙发裡

相爱没有那麼容易每个人有他的脾气

过了爱作梦的年纪轰轰烈烈不如平静

幸福没有那麼容易才会特别让人著迷

什麼都不懂的年纪

曾经最掏心所以最开心曾经

想念最伤心但却最动心的记忆

♥琳琳♥

2:19 PM

♥

Today Dearie on MC~ he said that he is having fever and he went to my house nearby to see doctor~

Then he had his lunch at went back home~ on his way back~ I asked him if he can spare some time for me~ he see cannot understand me ~ he said that he meet me everyday and I have all his time~ he then say that I dun let him play games and do things he liked~ I was thinking that everyday he finished work or off day~ he will be playing games until I finished worked and go back home~ he is still playing game~ I felt abit neglect~ so I thought of telling him~ in the end ~ he said that I got all his time as I m staying with him and that he say he stopped playing game next time when I finished work and that he will accompany me and make me happy and treat me like a queen and waited for me sleep and then he go play game but he know I always sleep very late then he continue and said that after he waited for me to sleep is already 3am and he will be tired how to play game~

The problems now is that what he said is not what I meant~ I just hope that he spent some time with me beside that playing game~ I duno why he must say things to hurt me~so I tell him that it's ok since u dun understand what I mean~ I changed instead~

haix... guy will only think of solution and never understand what a woman want~ Yes... he did asked me what I want and I said abit of his time and he asked me like what~ I said accompany watch TV or show~ but the way he put it has already made me so sian that he do it just bcos he wanted to play his game~ he asked me for the fastest way to settled me and that he can play his game~ if you were to put urself in my shoes how would you feel??? might as well and shouldn't have said it since it turned out this way~

like this hor~i got the feeling like he wish me dun so early finished work lo~
-_-!!!

Finally I reach home~ the first thing he said was " I am going to switch off the laptop" that was 10.00pm ~ I went to bath and eat two curry puff~ until now 10.52pm he is still playing~ somemore tell me that he today never really play game~ haix... He not sick today loh~ he tell me he fever but he SMS his colleague and said that he got diarrhea Zzz I don't know what he wanted to do lah~ very sian~

Why I cannot find the one and only guy who can love me and care for me and understand me~ why I so suay ~ always like that~ people also laugh at me~ they go speechless when talked abt my RS ~ Arghhh I also dont want to be like this de leh~

______________________________________________________________

At around 11.30pm i think~ he finally stop playing game~but he isued his iphone and read the forum of the game he was playing~i felt no different~ i lazy to say him due to my disappointment~ i do admit i say nasty things like~i wish we could break up sia~i got bf like don't have ~ just want him to spare some time~ he cannot fully concentrated when watching TV with me~ he has to surf net~ Arghhh Sian ~ super sian~

Then finally~ i got his full attention~he actually download show to see and we watch about 2 shows before we sleep~ the 2nd show~ we see until very tired and sleep around 2.00am plu i think~

♥琳琳♥

12:32 PM

♥ Thursday, June 30, 2011

Oh My Tian~

I really love this Gucci~ so Nice~

♥琳琳♥

8:31 PM

♥

Today is his off day~ he is coming to accompany me to eat my late lunch~Now waiting for him to come~ so boring at work place~

We went opposite to have fried fish soup rice and he went to buy his mouse and take train home~

I really appreciate him coming to find me at work place and accompany me eat ~ :)

At night~ just realize my shoes spoilt~ the mouth behind the shoes opened le~Haix ... tell him he also will not bring a shoes come save me de~ I trying to go home by walking slowly~ hopefully the shoes can tahan me till I reached home~ now safely in MRT~ as sitting down so no need put pressure on my shoes ~ :(

♥琳琳♥

8:29 AM

♥ Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Can u imagine telling ur secret to someone you trust and that person always said that u don't trust him and he got drunk and angry or quarrel with you and leak out your secret to his good friend and his good friend happened to quarrel with his wife and the wife tell you that she know your secret~ Can anyone understand my feeling???no matter what he said is true or out of anger he anyhow say bad things about me~ it is wrong to have said things that is untrue and what people will think???

I really angry and i just want him to understand that this is not the right things to do and that it shouldn't happen in the first place if he is mature enough in thinking~

I am disappointed in his act in drinking and disappearing then found out his immature way of telling other people things that he shouldn't said ~ its making my impression of him real bad~
If he could just show me and proved to me that he will change~i will feel my effort worthwhile~ but if he is not~ its fine~ cause i am changing myself for my ownself~not for others~ but for a better future~

♥琳琳♥

4:49 AM