♥ Monday, May 30, 2011

Scrappur.Com

♥琳琳♥

12:40 PM

♥

This are the few Pictures i have taken~

MBS VIEW~

Prada Wallet i aiming :X

Mushroom Congee with Chicken~i wanted to try ~ Only sell in Malaysia Jusco Market :(

♥琳琳♥

11:44 AM

♥

28th May 2011

I finished worked at 3 pm so I went Vivo City and had my lunch at Kim Gary as I m alone so quite hard for me to find places to eat ~

Then I meet him at about 8.00 pm to watch Pirates of the Caribbean ~

We went to buy perfume first as he wanted to buy one~ I also wanted to buy one~ but I tot of changing another brands so I asked him help me choose but he was so cold towards me~ he just replied me that I can just choose whatever I liked~ Haix

Then I just buy back the old brand I used to buy that he choose for me last time~

Then I accompany he eat Macdonald and we went to watched our show at 8.30pm ~
it was a nice show~

♥琳琳♥

9:27 AM

♥ Saturday, May 28, 2011

Sometime i feel so sad and hurt~ i duno who to tell sia~ when we quarrel that time~ he actually blame me that cause his hp bill to increase by $30 plu~ i lost my words when he said that~ He said that is because of me that started the quarrel and it affect his hp bill even that his plan was the most expensive de ~ he still need to top up~ :(

我想我真的有问题~每当我们意见不合时~我的脑袋就会叫我算了~何必这样辛苦呢~合不来就算了不要浪费时间~

我根本没有办法让自己望好的方向想~

这几天还算好~没有什么不开心的事~他也好象有一点点的开始了解我吧~我不知道是不是因为我让他玩电脑游戏~所以他对我也没那么计较~问他问题都ok~他没发脾气~

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♥琳琳♥

8:40 AM

♥ Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Not all scars show~
Not all wounds heal~
Sometimes you can't really see the pain that someone else feels~

♥琳琳♥

11:24 AM

♥

After work~i went to MBS to waited for him to finished work as usual~Initally he said that he wanted to meet Kenneth if his mummy never cooked ~ so i told him that if he is going out then i will go home first as i am tired~ then he msg me that he wish to pei me~so in the end we went back home as his mummy got cooked~was wondering why he so sweet and nice then i realise is bcos its our Annivesary la~

Yestersday was our 10th Month Anniversary~ we never had any celebration~
Actually i felt gulity~as i did not remember the date~he mention it to me first~

I am so sorry~i so "bo xin"~It really just slip my mind at that point of time and i am having headache~

Thank you for accompanying me yesterday~although just watch show~i really appreciate it~

♥琳琳♥

10:03 AM

♥ Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Yest he promise me that he will never drink again~ I admitted that I doubt him cos he really love to drink ~ he will really give up ma... Then he asked me what I can suggested to him if he quit drinking~ so that he got things to do at his free time~ I cannot find any and jokingly I disturb him that I give him a baby girl to looked after~ he will be very busy de~

Anyway~I just hope that he will have his own future and the goal he want ~with or without me is not important~

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♥琳琳♥

2:26 PM

♥ Monday, May 23, 2011

Things will never be the same again~

Although we still talked like normal~do things sama sama~

but the feeling is strange~i totally don't understand the person who i loved~

What is going on??? :(

♥琳琳♥

8:08 PM

♥

Until today I asked him what happen and why he like that~ he say he can't remember~ haha~ he told me the last scene he rem was that he was drinking with his gay friends~ but I am not drunk lo~ I saw him still can keep walking ard thru n fro the pub and chit chat somemore~

I asked him a few times le but he choose to use can't rem to avoid my question~so dun say I nv give chance~ he choose not to say~dun say I nv trust him cos he is hiding things from me~ if the things is not abt me~ I dun understand why he cannot shared with me the problems and if is abt me~ the more he should tell me~ there is no reasons for him not to tell me~ I really duno what the fuck gone wrong sia~ damn pissed off until now~ When there is no answer to it somemore~

He going to get it from me once I cannot take it anymore~

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♥琳琳♥

10:47 AM

♥ Sunday, May 22, 2011

I had never see him so drunk before~ never ever~ This is the first time I am so bloody pissed off with him~

As usual~ Kenneth & Irene but this time with my brother, Dearie and me go MT Club at boat quay to drink~ All of us was drinking happily and he met his guy Fren there~

Duno why and what happen~ he drink until he got so drunk~ started to hug guys ard him and talk and talk and talk with them~
Then he even started to sing english song which he nv sing English song at any KTV pub de~

I am starting to be angry and he really dun care and dun bother~ he just keep Dulan with a guy who he claim that he knocked at his door when he go toilet~ as he was drunk~ I m not very sure if he recognize the correct person ~ he keep asking the guy to drink and say or scold him for doing that and talked until like wanted to fight~ I tried to stop and his friends tried to stop him but it seem useless~ damn it~

I got no other choice~ I decided to take our things and leave the pub thinking that he will chase me and we can leave the place~ but he did not~ instead my brother chase after me~ so I got worked up~I told my brother to hold the things for me and I went back to the pub ~ I scolded him that he dun even bother about me right~I left the pub and he can still stand there and smoke~ I push him to the wall and walked out of the pub angrily~ I told my brother that we leave together then he can't be bother ~ so I drag my brother and we walked and keep walking nowhere just walked ~ my brother then told me that he is behind us~Fuck la~ until I damn pissed off le then he come after me~ it's pointless~ dun keep bullshit to me that you love me so much~ I am human leh~ I got feeling one~

From the way he do things it's already proven~ I really dun understand him at all~ why he say and do things like this~

His temper is really bad~ not just to me but even others and even worse to strangers~

I really duno what to do~ I duno how to settle down myself with him~How can I entrust him that he will take care of me in future??? I am scared and I see nothing in future now~

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♥琳琳♥

6:17 AM

♥ Friday, May 20, 2011

I am sorry~but you are really losing me~cause i am out of control~

I really don't know what will happen in future~

♥琳琳♥

8:23 PM

♥

Scrappur.Com
Finally its Friday~ Yeah~

♥琳琳♥

11:41 AM

♥ Thursday, May 19, 2011

放不下~

没有办法~我们还是没有办法分手~才30分钟~他就发短信给我了~我们就这样又在一起~

晚上~还约了他的朋友一起到咖啡店喝酒~喝到凌晨两点多才回家~

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♥琳琳♥

11:14 AM

♥ Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Just 3 days~WTF~ i started to questions again~Fuck my Life sia~i really can't endure~
I actually do it pretty well one lehhow come i broke down sia~CB ~ super dulan now~

Got to restart again~shit~

Just get me a place that i can disappear and don't ever see him ever again~ laji best~

Just quarrel and we have ended~ guess this time once and for all ended ba~ no more anyhow thinking and back to ownself ~ I will have to overcome things myself once again~

I will be stronger~

♥琳琳♥

4:56 PM

♥

Yesterday was Vesak Day~ so it's another holiday~ As usual Dearie need to work~I went back home to accompany mummy to have breakfast~ mummy was not feeling well~ I might have passed my cough to her~ then we go buy oranges as mummy need to pray pray~

In the late afternoon as mummy was hungry~ we went to housing ave 8 the coffee shop to have lunch~

Then we took a bus to NEX to meet Ah Yee~

I took MRT to Dhoby Ghaut to meet Dearie for movie~ Finally he got spare time and not drinking but to accompany me like normal couple to watch a movie~ I can't rem when was the last time we watch~ only rem that our first date was to watch a movie at Pasir Ris there~

We watched Fast and Furious 5 as I long wanted to watched~ this show was really super nice~ seldom there is a movie that has so many parts and it will be so nice ~ Now I understand why many peoples ard me can watched again and again cos I myself felt like watching again too ~ haha

After movie we took the last train back home~ while we are checking whats the last train timing~ the staff working at the MRT station control shouted to us that the last train is coming~ asked us faster~ so I rushed in and Dearie got stuck~ duno why he is unable to scan his ez-link card so the staff used his key and open the door to let Dearie in ~

Oh my tian~ Dearie just got a free ride MRT~lolx

Then when we reached SK~ Desrie tried to used his ez-link card to scan but still failed~ so I used mine to scanned the two of us out~

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♥琳琳♥

10:50 AM

♥ Monday, May 16, 2011

You will never understand the feeling of wanting to know something and you cannot call or msg to asked at all~All you can do is to wait and the feeling of the fast heart beating SUX~you will never know how it feel~as you are never me and i am never you~

You only thought of yourself and you treat people's sadness as your happiness~

I will endure till one day i cannot and i going to say goodbye to you~

♥琳琳♥

7:24 PM

♥

This few days I had been thinking alot~ never lazy~ I make my effort to think~ think very hard what I want~ That day Dearie asked me what I want~ I said a family and a husband that can stick to me 24 hours~ he asked me to 养他~

That's not What I want ma~ :(

Anyway ~ I now dun want bother him le and he like it~ so I just continue not to be myself ~

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♥琳琳♥

8:31 AM

♥ Sunday, May 15, 2011

Fate~

If this is our fate~we will faced it together~I never dream of things will be until this stage till it really happen to us~ As u said~ and I believe it's truth~it takes both hands to clap and both of us are at fault ~ we are both lazy and tired of going through the RS again and again ~ the only different things is "different person we are going through the stage" I guess that's why we both did not really treasure and put our heart into this RS~

I also duno what to do now~ since I have already stress and put too much pressure to you till you are mentally abuse by my act~ I never stress anyone like this before~ And I believe that my character has not changed since last time~

What is going on~ can anyone tell me? Out of nothing~ really nothing~ also can quarrel~ never work this few days cause I really sick and he also sick~ cannot even rest~ I told him that I do not want to go my bro's bday celebration~ then he assume that I will blame him that he never go with me that's why I don't want to go so he keep asking me to go to my bro's chalet ~ I keep repeating that I don't want to go and he keep asking me to go out~ in the end~ I very Dulan~ I told him that since he duno want to do wat keep forcing me to go out right~ nvm~ I go meet my shi Fu lo~oh my tian~ said the wrongest sentence of my life men~ he got more angry and crazy ~ I really dun like to quarrel ~ Haizzz after the quarrel he said that we have misunderstanding is bcos I m lazy to explain~ I would have tell him that I have SMS my bro that I never go chalet le~ which after we quarrel and I told him that I already SMS my bro I m not going to find him~ than he asked me if I have said that earlier we would not have this quarrel and misunderstanding~
but for me ~ I dun understand~ why I must tell him abt the SMS??? I already told him that I do not want to go to the chalet earlier~ I really duno how to communicate with him~ I duno what I should answered or said that he will like to listen as whatever I said is always making him angry~ that's why I choose to keep quiet or just agreed with whatever he said~

God~ if u can hear me~ please guid me through this~ I felt miserable and lost very long le~ I keep avoiding also no used~ enlightening me please I beg you~

If not I will be killed by him one day de~

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♥琳琳♥

6:34 PM

♥

Duno sick for how many days le~ my bf dun even know how to take care of me~only know how to play game~not play game then is drink drink drink~~ should say dun even think of taking care of me~ I cannot imagine next time I how sia~

Haizzz ~ I very cham~ if I know he like that~ only care for his own happiness ~ I shouldn't have go drink with him that day~
Anyway he will be happy himself and enjoy too~

I want go bk home so that mummy can take care of me but he say he want to take care me~ haizzz

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♥琳琳♥

12:07 AM

♥ Thursday, May 12, 2011

When the love is not strong and started to fade~ you can really felt it deep inside your heart~

When everything seem the same~doesn't mean that everything is fine~

When emotional takes over love~ it's mean that there is no more love~ only emotion~

When I looked back~ it doesn't mean that I wanted to go back to the past~ but I wanted to understand more of what happen in the past~ And if it's repeating or I become better~

When you walked in front of me and I walked behind you~ i just want to see you every moment~

When at night~ I see you struggling not to sleep just to accompany me more or just awhile~ tears fall in my heart~

When one day you wake up and found out that the person who sleep beside you for almost a year was no longer the person you dearly love~ how sad could that be~

When you found out that the person who is so close to you~ Actually dun understand you at all~ how bad could that be~

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♥琳琳♥

9:20 PM

♥ Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Yesterday after I finish work~ I never went to find him~ I went to see doctor~ get my medicines and MC~ then go bk his Hse and rest~

Forget to packed food and just now I have eat the medicine my colleague give me~ so got to wait four hours or more than I can take the medicine doctor give me~

So I just rest myself on the bed while waiting for Dearie to come back ~

I message him to packed food for me so that I can eat and take my medicine~ so he packed food for me ~

After eating medicine ~ watch TV awhile and I fall asleep as the medicine will cos drowniess ~

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♥琳琳♥

2:15 PM

♥ Monday, May 9, 2011

Sick le~

Yesterday stay at home whole day as my Sis celebrate his son one years old birthday~

My cousin jio to drink one cup of beer~ I am not feeling well~ thinking that maybe drinking can help~ so I drink~ who know I feel worse~ I went to my room and rest after that~

Later on~ my brother come back home and he helped me take medicine to eat~ After taking medicine I tried to sleep but like can't sleep~ so I rest my eyes~

I wake up around late evening and I was hungry~so I went to the kitchen to find food and managed to find Ang Gu Kuey to eat then mummy give me medicine for sore throat~

After that I go bath and prepare myself to meet Dearie at SK~ we had argument then went back his house~

I guess I m not the one he want~ then I told him to go find his ex~ he then say that I dun understand him~ people who understand him know that he dun like to mention his ex will not voice out her name~ but I think is that he love her too much that's why the hurt is so deep till become hatred~

Anyway~ I can't be bother anymore~ I m lazy and I dun want just sit and wait for Nothing~

Since like what he said~ I can't trust him and in future even married the same things will happen~ then why not we be friends better ~I cannot feel love~

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♥琳琳♥

10:35 AM

♥ Saturday, May 7, 2011

Polling Day~

Yesterday After work I went to Dhoby Ghuat to meet Ah bi and his friends to eat at "Just Acid"~ Ah bi was smsing with Stephenie~he asked her if she wanted to joined us so she was at Vivo City and we waited for her to meet us and we headed to MBS~

We bought drinks and Dearie finished worked~ we meet up and wanted to take my first ride night rider home~ we accompany Stephenie to the opp bus stop to waited for her bus but last bus just left 2 mins ago~

Oh my tian~we suggested that she took a cab as she was meeting her parents for show at 1.30am~ as the taxi queue was very long~ we on call for her ~ very fast... Her cab came ~

Then Dearie and AH bi and I walked to the nearest bus stop to waited for our night rider~ and we missed it~ so we waited for another night rider~ we waited half an hour for the 2nd night rider~ I m so tired upon waiting lo~ I guess all of us were tired~

Ah bi reached home first after 45mins~ then Dearie and I 1 hour later reached home too and it was 2.30 am if I never remember wrongly~ Zzz

So tired~ Dearie was hungry ~ he munched the food cooked by his mum and we watched TV awhile then both of us fall asleep~

In the morning~ I wake up 6.30am as my daddy told me that he is going to vote at 7.00 am plu~ so I took a bus home~

Arghh~ tired TiReD lah ..,,

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♥琳琳♥

7:38 AM

♥ Friday, May 6, 2011

T-Zone Gel

Recently i bought this T-Zone Gel~to keep my oily T-Zone from being oily and i do not need to keep using my oil control film~but it seem no help at the moment~i will still try for one month~ see how it goes~if not my money wasted le~

This is the shoes i bought yesterday at PS~

♥琳琳♥

4:35 PM

♥

Fetching Dearie~

Yesterday I went to fetch Dearie but I did not let him know as I didn't answer his call as before I was going to finish work~ he told me something which I don't feel good about and I started to EMO~ I do not want to talk to him or anyone~ I just listen to music to make myself feel better~

I went PS to walked walked as I actually wear a shoes that doesn't match my clothes and my colleagues were all saying abt it~ but I got no choice~ ever since I decided to bring all my things back home~ my shoes all at home so I can only wear clothes that suit the shoes I had at his house~ then got one pair of shoes the mouth open le~ I haven't buy super glue to glue it back~ so I anyhow wear a something like school shoes to work and the worst thing is that it is in pink in color~ LOlX can imagine anot???

So I managed to buy a black low heel shoes at PS at only $26.90 lah... Then I took a bus to MBS~
Definately I reached there early ma~ around 10.15PM lo... I never go in the shop~ I was wandering ard places that I can view his shop then ard 10.30PM i saw him and his colleague closing the door~ so I guess they are doing closing already~

He called me after he was abt to close the door and leave the shop then I answer his called~ he asked me why I dun answer his call~ I told him I was angry and need to cool down so I dun want to talk to him~ then he say that he getting to understand me more and more~

Duno how we talked then we talked abt ROM~ he said next month when he get his salary~ I told him that I will just listen cos this is not the first time he mention~ I dun want to be disappointed again and again~

We then walked to bus stop to waited for bus~ waited around 15-20mins~ the bus came but it was fully packed so it never stop~ we decided to walked to Esplande MRT~

On the way~ I played the song " Raow Kong Tong Pen Fan Gun" by Punch that make me feel better to him~ then he disturb me that next time I angry~ he will played thus song~ I told him that I will listen till bored de loh~

After that he also got asked me if I felt that he got changed~ I told him yes~

When we reach SK MRT~ while waiting for bus~ Dearie call Mac delivery~ he say he wanted to treat me~ so we went home and watched TV and waited for Mac~ after that he fall asleep~ so fast O_o think he too tired~

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♥琳琳♥

11:21 AM

♥ Thursday, May 5, 2011

Haizzz

我还以为一切很完美了～原来只是我自欺欺人～

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♥琳琳♥

9:11 PM

♥

5th May 2011

Normal~

Dearie come fetch me after work~ as he reached early~ he waited one hour for me ard my work place~

Then we took a MRT back ad usual ~ reach home and found out that he washes his bedsheet but did not put the new bedsheet~ helped out him to changed~ he actually changed last time one and oh my tian got stain lo~ I dun liked~

So he quickly changed back to another new bedsheet we bought together de~

We watched TV and he surf net awhile and we figure out how to delete that FB thingy~

Finally he is the one who solved it~

Then we sleep ard 2 am plu ~

At night~ I keep having stomache~ he helped me used the oil to rub my stomach~ then I go toilet and still feel stomache so he rub second time for me~ then I can fall asleep ~ :(

Recently my thoughts become more positive~ I never really anyhow think~ but he is the one who make me anyhow think~ yest he asked me why I never asked him wear so nice go and meet who~ so I thought he wanted me to asked him~ and I asked him lo~ he answered that he alway wear liked that what~ Zzz

So I asked him he happy mah~ I asked him this question that he doubt me that I never asked lo~ he say happy ~ LOLx

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♥琳琳♥

3:44 PM

♥ Wednesday, May 4, 2011

4th May 2011

Happy~

Ooo... he never forget ~ i asked him just now~he told me is the "Royce Chocolate" he actually wanted to buy~but he said that that time he asked me and i said don't want le~so never buy lo~

Sobx Sobx~ thats my favourite chocolate~ why i would said that~i can't even remember~

Anyway~forget it ba~i can buy myself to eat~

He is off today~like never really felt relax as he got to do his phone and wash clothes and shoes~he seem so poor thing~got to keep reporting to me~i felt gulity~

But he really very sweet today as what he do he will tell me~even go toilet O_o

Ok lah~i dun say le~thats for me to know for others to find out~

I am very happy today~ as i was busy finding ways to delete his FB thingy~he actually said that he find it irritating too and he also help me check how to delete it away~

Lalala~

♥琳琳♥

7:32 PM

♥

My surprise~

He say going to give me a little surprise ~ I still waiting ~

I think he forget already wor~ :(

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♥琳琳♥

11:11 AM

♥ Tuesday, May 3, 2011

难过~

我现在才知道我对他的好只是昨天而已～

Hai...

没话说～

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♥琳琳♥

11:32 PM

♥ Monday, May 2, 2011

1st May 2011

Long weekend gone~

Actually wanted to go fishing or prawning~but his friends not free so we meet up and have our dinner and when back home watch TV~

Another long weekend gone~ so sad~ Although I did make use of one day to meet my colleagues but I wish to spend it with him~ Anyway~ it's already passed~ I did enjoy with my colleagues and get updated~

I am still not willing to accept that we are having different off days~ so sian~ never been so sian very long le~ even last time with my ex~ we never leave one another except he go wk but after that he will come fetch me from work~as he work till 6 pm~

Now even though Dearie worked till 7 pm~ he will complain that he is tired but still make effort to come find me~ only that he work till 11 or 12 pm then no choice~

Hai...

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♥琳琳♥

1:32 PM