♥ Thursday, July 21, 2011

Until now he still the same~ he will just drink drink drink~ he never thought of coming to find me at all~ I nv had a bf before who dun care abt me and he is so selfish to only think of himself~ haix

Is this a hint from god telling me that I must really face the reality~ he is really not the one~

Arghh I really cannot believe it~ I must let go ~ kill the stupid mind and be back to myself~

He change his everything now~ I really can't believe that I had waste one year with a guy who just play my feeling~ WTF~

I really wake up le!!! He is really SUX~ he will get his retribution~ all his fake words~ I hate it~ he is just a liar~

I need to stop blogging le~ cos everything has ended~

I do not want to have anything to do with this fucker anymore!!!

I dun wish to be reminded of this RS anymore~

Goodbye blog~

I need to create a new one and start my new life~ cause it's the only way~

♥琳琳♥

3:41 PM

♥ Wednesday, July 20, 2011

This few days my mood swing like hell~ arghhh i really hate it~ last night~ out of control and cried again~ I keep telling myself to be mature la~ nv think that it will be so bad~ not the first time fall out of love what~everyday still need force myself to work work work so that can't think so much~ bloody hate after work~ mind too free zzz ~ will start again ~ but at least I bk to myself~ nv drink then sleep le~

I had to overcome this myself since I choose to end de~

I always thought that the person who choose to end will be easier to let go~ so now I got the taste of it~FML

I got to be strong~ since he can~ I also can~ give me just abit more time~ I will be numb soon~

I got the feeling~ it's fading le~ i won't care so much le~now is my mind killing me~ I let it died~ I kill my mind myself~

♥琳琳♥

11:25 AM

♥ Tuesday, July 19, 2011

past memories just flash upon my mind~ it's killing me~ can just go away~ is torturing me especially at wk when we both wk the same office last time~ I cannot walked ard le la~ I hate to think of things that upset me~ why now he can be so carefree and I can't~

I thought that we will be together forever~ all my wishful thinking~ how much more to suffer~ just come at one shot~
Arghhh...

♥琳琳♥

5:38 PM

♥ Sunday, July 17, 2011

sometimes u just no need to say ~ time will lead u to the real world~ this world is realistic and it would never change because of anyone~ it will just keep changing it's own~ the only way is to change urself to suit that world if not u will lose out~

There is lots of things that u couldn't give up and don't wish to lose in this world~ but sometimes due to situation~ you will have to let go In order to carry on~

As time passes~ I getting more and more clearer than I have to carry on my life ~ although I admit that I am so fickle minded~and I do not know what I want~ I can't force anyone to just wait for me there~ I believe I will find my way~

Now the only thing I can do for u is to stop my nonsense~ I won't disturb u le~

Last but not least~ I wish u all the best in ur everything and succeed whatever you wanted to~ Time is too precious to waste le~

Woman times is very precious~

♥琳琳♥

10:18 PM

♥ Saturday, July 16, 2011

Our RS ended on 12th July 2011~ although both of us tried to save it in our own ways~ it only worsen everything~ I guess if I can't trust him till now~ nothing will goes right~ He has proven to me that with or without me there is no different and he can say until so easily that if we can't be together~ he will delete my contact and won't pester me~ before anything could be done~ he already started to add new girls and should have chat le ba~

He say he need to go think and asked me go think also~ if wanted to be Tgt~ we will compromise if not he will delete my number~

♥琳琳♥

11:00 PM

♥ Sunday, July 10, 2011

Until today he still dun or should say lazy or refuse to understand me~ told him many times~ if he can't do it de things ~ dun tell me~ he still can repeat so many times~ example:" I played game till 10.30pm at the most cos tomorrow I work morning shift, I wanted to watch Monkey God show" till 11.40 pm plu still playing lor~ dun want acc me then just tell me~ dun need cheat my feeling de~ I drunk a bottle of Hoe Gaarden and I fall asleep~ I believe that time he is still playing his stupid game lor~

He should go married that game~ cause it won't complained and most of all can make him happy and he can fuck it too~ as he like to fuck pple inside~

We are starting to have distance in between us~ since he dun bother~ I also dun bother~ I will find my true love one day~ I wish I could be more realistic ~

He is too lazy to do anything for this RS~ I have see him through~ I have been observing so long~ yet no improvement and he got impatience all the time and anyhow show temper and say he sian~ I see him I more sian~ he think only he sian~ SUX

♥琳琳♥

2:11 PM

♥ Monday, July 4, 2011

3rd July 2011

I went to Sentosa Siloso Beach with Ying and her son~We had lots of fun~ playing with water~ hehe

So happy and feel so relax and happy ~

In the evening~ i suppose i will be meeting Dearie to watch Movie~ but he said until he was sooooo tired hor~so i decided not ba~ he said that if movie was too late de we shall just go for dinner~ his meeting point was at NEX~ so i decided just catch him up for dinner ba~ After dinner we went back home and he downloaded "My Bloody Valentine" while waiting for it to download~ he played his favourite game for 2 hours ba~ Zzz

Luckily i got you tube drama to accompany me~

♥琳琳♥

5:30 PM

♥ Friday, July 1, 2011

I need peace~ leave me alone~ I promise i'll be good~

没那麼简单就能找到聊得来的伴

尤其是在看过了那麼多的背叛

总是不安只好强悍

谁谋杀了我的浪漫

没那麼简单就能去爱别的全不看

变得实际也许好也许坏各一半

不爱孤单一久也习惯

不用担心谁也不用被谁管

感觉快乐就忙东忙西

感觉累了就放空自己

别人说的话随便听一听自己作决定

不想拥有太多情绪

一杯红酒配电影

在周末晚上关上了手机舒服窝在沙发裡

相爱没有那麼容易每个人有他的脾气

过了爱作梦的年纪轰轰烈烈不如平静

幸福没有那麼容易才会特别让人著迷

什麼都不懂的年纪

曾经最掏心所以最开心曾经

想念最伤心但却最动心的记忆

♥琳琳♥

2:19 PM

♥

Today Dearie on MC~ he said that he is having fever and he went to my house nearby to see doctor~

Then he had his lunch at went back home~ on his way back~ I asked him if he can spare some time for me~ he see cannot understand me ~ he said that he meet me everyday and I have all his time~ he then say that I dun let him play games and do things he liked~ I was thinking that everyday he finished work or off day~ he will be playing games until I finished worked and go back home~ he is still playing game~ I felt abit neglect~ so I thought of telling him~ in the end ~ he said that I got all his time as I m staying with him and that he say he stopped playing game next time when I finished work and that he will accompany me and make me happy and treat me like a queen and waited for me sleep and then he go play game but he know I always sleep very late then he continue and said that after he waited for me to sleep is already 3am and he will be tired how to play game~

The problems now is that what he said is not what I meant~ I just hope that he spent some time with me beside that playing game~ I duno why he must say things to hurt me~so I tell him that it's ok since u dun understand what I mean~ I changed instead~

haix... guy will only think of solution and never understand what a woman want~ Yes... he did asked me what I want and I said abit of his time and he asked me like what~ I said accompany watch TV or show~ but the way he put it has already made me so sian that he do it just bcos he wanted to play his game~ he asked me for the fastest way to settled me and that he can play his game~ if you were to put urself in my shoes how would you feel??? might as well and shouldn't have said it since it turned out this way~

like this hor~i got the feeling like he wish me dun so early finished work lo~
-_-!!!

Finally I reach home~ the first thing he said was " I am going to switch off the laptop" that was 10.00pm ~ I went to bath and eat two curry puff~ until now 10.52pm he is still playing~ somemore tell me that he today never really play game~ haix... He not sick today loh~ he tell me he fever but he SMS his colleague and said that he got diarrhea Zzz I don't know what he wanted to do lah~ very sian~

Why I cannot find the one and only guy who can love me and care for me and understand me~ why I so suay ~ always like that~ people also laugh at me~ they go speechless when talked abt my RS ~ Arghhh I also dont want to be like this de leh~

______________________________________________________________

At around 11.30pm i think~ he finally stop playing game~but he isued his iphone and read the forum of the game he was playing~i felt no different~ i lazy to say him due to my disappointment~ i do admit i say nasty things like~i wish we could break up sia~i got bf like don't have ~ just want him to spare some time~ he cannot fully concentrated when watching TV with me~ he has to surf net~ Arghhh Sian ~ super sian~

Then finally~ i got his full attention~he actually download show to see and we watch about 2 shows before we sleep~ the 2nd show~ we see until very tired and sleep around 2.00am plu i think~

♥琳琳♥

12:32 PM